Mega Man Battle Network 2 Review

            This week on Genericide, I review a game that isn’t over a decade old! AHAHAHA! I had you going for a second there. Seriously though, today I’m reviewing an old Game Boy Advance game you quite possibly have never played or care about. Because what do I look like, some kind of normal person who lives in the present?

All of the cool kids are stuck decades in the past, man. That and people with malfunctioning time machines.

Sonic Adventure 2: Battle Review

            So over my holiday I’ve been submerged in a sea of older games, even with enticing new titles vying for my attention, mostly from the holiday steam sale. If this seems silly, it’s only because it is, but I can’t say I haven’t been enjoying myself revisiting past titles. One such title is one I already owned but lost track of, so I bought it for five bucks during a sale and became instantly obsessed with it again. That game will be obvious to anyone who read the top of the page. That’s right; I’ve been playing a considerable amount of Bill Hatcher and the Giant Egg Sonic Adventure 2: Battle.

            Sonic Adventure 2 was released for the ultimately doomed Sega Dreamcast console in 2001, but due to the whole doom thing it was later re-released with extra content on the Nintendo Gamecube less than a year later. This was the version my smaller self owned in the somewhat distant past, and I quite liked it at the time. I’m happy to report that the game holds up in my eyes today, but it’s still not without its problems.

The right image is the copy I remember from my childhood. The left image is the copy people with poor purchasing luck remember.

Paper Mario: Sticker Star Review

[Note: As I was finishing writing this review I had noticed a prevalent trend. Although I don’t regret it because this a blog of my opinions rather than a completely impartial outlet, here’s a fun drinking game I’ve devised: take a drink every time I compare Sticker Star to other Mario RPGs. Good luck.]

            So I return, metaphorically jumping out of the casket at a comical moment to inform everyone that I am not, in fact, dead. This past month of academically induced radio silence holds the new record for longest amount of time I’ve spent without updating the blog. So now that the honeymooning period of updates every week or two is over I’ve moved boldly forward in the realm of not updating, soaring to new heights with the new lows I’m willing to set. Um, that is to say that, I’m like, reaching a new low in actuality, but I’m using the phrase new heights to refer to the new record in lows I’m setting, which on reflection is kind of confusing. I mean, it’s sort of like the lows are the lowest because they’re the highest speaking in terms of lows, sort of like if gravity were flipped upside-down and flying high in the sky would actually be burrowing underground, but oh wait that would mess up the low part of the analogy. Er…

Okay I can figure this out, lemme just get out my tape measure…

Golden Sun Review

            So once again we arrive at our regrettably bimonthly update. College continues to limit my time spent with the games of video, so there are really only two games I’ve played in the last couple weeks. The first is more World of Warcraft, and the second is GBA RPG Golden Sun, which I started (and finished) another playthrough of on a whim. What’s that? You say you want to see more of this game I speak of? And you wish to do so by way of an informative and/or humorous internet review by some random blog? Well that just so happens to coincide with what I planned on doing, Suspiciously Informed Theoretical Inquirer. How exactly are you so well informed? Are you theoretically stalking me?

I’ve had it up to here with your theoretical shenanigans! Get the hell out of my theoretical house!

Final Fantasy Tactics Advance 1 & 2

            Many years ago, when I was but a wee lad, there were a series of very popular JRPGs. It so happened that one year this series wanted to branch out and make a game in a slightly different genre. Rather than their usual style of game they instead opted for a more tactical one, with grid based combat similar to what one would see in, say, Fire Emblem. They brought their own flavor of individual character progression and classes to the table and the result was considered a rousing success. That game was called Final Fantasy Tactics. I…did not play that game.

Pictured: The game I’m not going to talk about

Mini-Reviews: Vessel, VVVVVV and Mystery Game

            So because I’m terribly, horribly bad a pacing myself, my guilt overdrive has exploded at the lack of posts and after weeks of zero/sparse content I’m going to throw two articles at you at once. I’ve been playing a lot of games lately, as you’ll no doubt be so surprised to know. Basically take that huge list of games I was playing this summer a while back. Then add 8 games from the Steam Summer sale. Then lightly sprinkle on a few old games that I decided to add to the list of those I’m revisiting. Oh, and drop in a handheld game I bought before going on vacation. Mix together lightly and put in an oven pre-heated to 375 degrees for 15 minutes. After, let cool for several minutes before glazing on a layer of honey. Sorry, what was I talking about?

Orcs Must Die 2 is apparently delicious with a pinch of nutmeg

Shadow the Hedgehog Review

            So I return triumphant, or at least existent, from my brief vacation. During said vacation, the Steam Summer Sale occurred, netting me several more games to add to the huge list I elaborated on before I left (and keep in mind those were just the ones I’d already played). While I try to juggle playing everything from every time period at once I figured it’d be good to get some content in without too much of a wait, so I’m going to capitalize on something I played before I left for vacation. As a reward for waiting for content you get…a crappy game about a human sized mammal making a laughable attempt at attitude.

If you guessed this…who am I kidding no one would guess this, even though it fits the description. Funnily enough, this is an eco-friendly rip-off of the series containing the game I am talking about.

Spyro the Dragon Review

            There are some times when I realize that I have far too many games to play. When I realize that I have so many dozen things I could be doing that I responsibly resolve to finish what I’m already doing. When I am tempted to buy or play a new video game but resist because I clearly have too much willpower and self-control for such things, and instead will dutifully and mechanically work through my list of things I already was going to do. This is not one of those times. Instead this is a time where I bought Spyro the Dragon instead.

And when I think about it, I can’t actually remember one of those other times…

Gargoyle’s Quest Review

[NOTE: There will be some lots of strong language within this review. You’ve been warned.]

So a while back I realized I still had some left over money in the 3DS store from a previous purchase, and decided to check what games I could find on its virtual console worth buying. I found a game called Gargoyle’s Quest that, upon research, was apparently a 2D platformer with RPG elements that people had generally good opinions of. Figuring it would at least be worth a few bucks, I downloaded it and got to playing. The plot of the game is your standard, barely substantial game plot about defeating evil and isn’t really worth addressing. You play as Firebrand, a gargoyle who originally appeared in the NES game Ghosts ‘N Goblins.

To some people, the language warning at the start just made a lot more sense…

Lost Kingdoms 2 Review

            Despite having a boatload of new games demanding my attention, I’m occasionally compelled to dive headfirst into my library to play some older offerings and pointedly ignore keeping up with the new. One such time has occurred recently, and two of the games that grabbed my attention were Lost Kingdoms 2 and Kingdom Hearts. Had I felt like playing Graffiti Kingdom I could make a whole Kingdom review trifecta, but sadly I did not.

Graffiti Kingdom was an interesting game offering a unique action RPG system potentially involving the capture of monsters. Instead of that, I’ll be reviewing Lost Kingdoms 2, an interesting game offering a unique action RPG system potentially involving the capture of monsters.

Wario Land 2 Review

           Recently, through the magic of the internet I came across a playable version of Wario Land for the Game Boy. This harkened me back to the days of my youth, where Wario Land 2 was one of the first games I ever owned. However, the first thing I discovered is that Wario Land 2 is very different from the original in a few key ways.