Mini-Reviews: Vessel, VVVVVV and Mystery Game

            So because I’m terribly, horribly bad a pacing myself, my guilt overdrive has exploded at the lack of posts and after weeks of zero/sparse content I’m going to throw two articles at you at once. I’ve been playing a lot of games lately, as you’ll no doubt be so surprised to know. Basically take that huge list of games I was playing this summer a while back. Then add 8 games from the Steam Summer sale. Then lightly sprinkle on a few old games that I decided to add to the list of those I’m revisiting. Oh, and drop in a handheld game I bought before going on vacation. Mix together lightly and put in an oven pre-heated to 375 degrees for 15 minutes. After, let cool for several minutes before glazing on a layer of honey. Sorry, what was I talking about?

Orcs Must Die 2 is apparently delicious with a pinch of nutmeg

Let’s Play Sphinx #6: The Mummy Formerly Known As Prince

            Well it’s been a while, hasn’t it reader(s)? I actually played this segment back before I even posted the last entry in this series, so given that historians have yet to uncover intelligible recordings from that era I think we could all use a refresher on what the heck is happening. Sphinx had recently discovered from Mojo Monkey Man that via a magical artifact, they can temporarily revive the dead prince and have him scout out the enemies fortress. The Man of Monkey Magic then uses his powers to…give sentience to a basket, because that’s apparently the only way to transport items to and from the dead prince, via poorly explained teleportation magic. We can now return to our regularly scheduled Let’s Play that I’m sure my obedient legion of readers has been positively clamoring for.

Pictured: Obvious visual gag denoting inferior number of readers despite previous comments to the contrary

Shadow the Hedgehog Review

            So I return triumphant, or at least existent, from my brief vacation. During said vacation, the Steam Summer Sale occurred, netting me several more games to add to the huge list I elaborated on before I left (and keep in mind those were just the ones I’d already played). While I try to juggle playing everything from every time period at once I figured it’d be good to get some content in without too much of a wait, so I’m going to capitalize on something I played before I left for vacation. As a reward for waiting for content you get…a crappy game about a human sized mammal making a laughable attempt at attitude.

If you guessed this…who am I kidding no one would guess this, even though it fits the description. Funnily enough, this is an eco-friendly rip-off of the series containing the game I am talking about.

Genericide Update: Excuses, Lists and Opinions

[ANNOUNCEMENT: I’ll be going on vacation in a couple days and it will have at least a week without updates (what else is new). Apart from this article I’ll try to get something out tomorrow, though it’s uncertain if I will manage. I really am sorry about the gaps in content. That’s the important bit, more below]

            In the theoretical situation wherein I had regular readers of this blog, regular readers of this blog may notice that it has a really inconsistent update rate. Part of this is the unavoidable nature of how my writing cycle works, which is approximately between ‘when I feel like it’ and ‘when I start to feel guilty’ o clock. The other part comes from the fact that I play a lot of games in my free time that I don’t feel motivated to write about. Just how many games, you may ask? Well I figured in lieu of having actual content to give you I’ll just give you a list of the many, many games I’ve been playing this summer but not writing about. Some will be accompanied with a brief write up, some will be accompanied by an explanation of why I’m planning a bigger write up later, and some will state my intent not to write about them at all. If you don’t care about said list, I’d still prefer you scroll down past it to the bottom of this article, because I have some questions for what few readers I have.

Some Top Video Game Explosions

[NOTE: Due to the nature of when giant explosions tend to be deployed, this article is home to quite a lot of spoilers. Read with care]

Today is the fourth of July, which as far as I can tell is America’s national holiday of blowing things up. In celebration, I decided to create a list of some of my favorite explosions in video games. You’ll note that the title says ‘some’, and that’s very much intentional. This is by no means a definitive list, and I encourage anyone who reads this and thinks of another to list it in the comments. Wide scale mayhem or general apocalypses aren’t so much the idea as big, bombastic balls of energy or fire expanding rapidly and wrecking the surrounding area. In addition, the order is fairly loose and is more of just a general index of how awesome the boom was. Without further ado, let’s get into the list:

Spyro the Dragon Review

            There are some times when I realize that I have far too many games to play. When I realize that I have so many dozen things I could be doing that I responsibly resolve to finish what I’m already doing. When I am tempted to buy or play a new video game but resist because I clearly have too much willpower and self-control for such things, and instead will dutifully and mechanically work through my list of things I already was going to do. This is not one of those times. Instead this is a time where I bought Spyro the Dragon instead.

And when I think about it, I can’t actually remember one of those other times…

Let’s Play Sphinx #5: Exposition, Eagles and Evil Ecosystems

            So our hero Sphinx was last seen hiring a ship in Abydos bound for Heliopolis. While he presumably has a fascinating trip on the empty ocean with only one other boring NPCs company, however, our point of view shifts. What we see next is a scene taking place inside Castle Uruk. In case you’d forgotten, that’s the one with the giant laser sticking out the top.

Can’t miss it, first building on the right, just past the land of eternal darkness