Paper Mario: Sticker Star Review

[Note: As I was finishing writing this review I had noticed a prevalent trend. Although I don’t regret it because this a blog of my opinions rather than a completely impartial outlet, here’s a fun drinking game I’ve devised: take a drink every time I compare Sticker Star to other Mario RPGs. Good luck.]

            So I return, metaphorically jumping out of the casket at a comical moment to inform everyone that I am not, in fact, dead. This past month of academically induced radio silence holds the new record for longest amount of time I’ve spent without updating the blog. So now that the honeymooning period of updates every week or two is over I’ve moved boldly forward in the realm of not updating, soaring to new heights with the new lows I’m willing to set. Um, that is to say that, I’m like, reaching a new low in actuality, but I’m using the phrase new heights to refer to the new record in lows I’m setting, which on reflection is kind of confusing. I mean, it’s sort of like the lows are the lowest because they’re the highest speaking in terms of lows, sort of like if gravity were flipped upside-down and flying high in the sky would actually be burrowing underground, but oh wait that would mess up the low part of the analogy. Er…

Okay I can figure this out, lemme just get out my tape measure…

Golden Sun Review

            So once again we arrive at our regrettably bimonthly update. College continues to limit my time spent with the games of video, so there are really only two games I’ve played in the last couple weeks. The first is more World of Warcraft, and the second is GBA RPG Golden Sun, which I started (and finished) another playthrough of on a whim. What’s that? You say you want to see more of this game I speak of? And you wish to do so by way of an informative and/or humorous internet review by some random blog? Well that just so happens to coincide with what I planned on doing, Suspiciously Informed Theoretical Inquirer. How exactly are you so well informed? Are you theoretically stalking me?

I’ve had it up to here with your theoretical shenanigans! Get the hell out of my theoretical house!

On Random Chance

            Greetings to hypothetical readers, self-deprecation as a result of slow update rate, etc. You know the drill. So I have been rather busy lately, which is partly responsible for the lack of updates. The other reason is the fact that since I haven’t had much free time, the only video game I’ve played in like 3 solid weeks is the pet battling system from World of Warcraft.

Above: What obsession looks like

An Average Day for the Stevensons

[So sparse updates have been sparse lately. In an attempt to alleviate that, today I'm going to present you readers with something a little different. I'm currently in a Creative Writing course that I had to write a short story for and this was the result. It's an easy way to fake content give you something to hold you over until I write a proper update, and I think it's the type of tale the internet might approve of. The rest of this update is the aforementioned short story, unchanged but for a few formatting edits to make it more readable in an online format]

Final Fantasy Tactics Advance 1 & 2

            Many years ago, when I was but a wee lad, there were a series of very popular JRPGs. It so happened that one year this series wanted to branch out and make a game in a slightly different genre. Rather than their usual style of game they instead opted for a more tactical one, with grid based combat similar to what one would see in, say, Fire Emblem. They brought their own flavor of individual character progression and classes to the table and the result was considered a rousing success. That game was called Final Fantasy Tactics. I…did not play that game.

Pictured: The game I’m not going to talk about

Let’s Play Sphinx #7: Pokemon Sphinx/Mummy Version

            Ancient legends tell of a treasure, lost to the annals of time. They tell of a sacred text that was buried beneath the sands for untold generations. Some weeks ago, our world’s top archeologists unearthed these very ancient texts. They marveled at them, estimating that they’re surely dating back to thousands of years ago, at least! They carefully placed them in an exhibit at a local museum, and news spread and eventually reached the papers. Some days after, a young man was browsing through the newspaper when an article caught his eye. “Oh”, he said, “they’ve found the Sphinx Let’s Play series. I should really consider updating that again.”

Hey! Do you get it?! Do you get the joke?! Do you get that the joke is that I haven’t updated in a long period of time?! Huh?! Do you?!

Genericide Update: Return of Revenge of the Son of Genericide

            So you may have noticed that it’s been a long time since I last updated this blog. Like, a really long time. I last updated Genericide four weeks ago, almost a full month. It’s been the longest hiatus the site has endured since its inception. I can only imagine the type of chaos and mass panic the outside world has been enduring at my absence. To the people of the world I offer my apologies and a glimmer of hope for your previously grim futures. Inform your neighbors, your friends and family, your governments, shout the good word from the rooftops. Genericide has not stopped updating, the end is not nigh, my hiatus was not an early start to the Mayan Apocalypse! I know this has been a tragic and grueling time for you are, but a bright future lies ahead.

You have my official permission to pick up your shattered lives and begin society anew