Oblivion Adventures Part 17: Expected Surprises

Last time on Oblivion Adventures, orcish adventurer Shush’Ogar obtained a new job typical of his profession: recovering an ancient artifact. But not-so-shadowy forces are conspiring against him. Can our hero possibly survive this ordeal?! Are you kidding me? Are you not familiar with video games? Or serialized stories? Have you been paying ANY attention? Why even ask that question?! Sheesh, I swear, you readers. I’m not saying you’re stupid.

But you’re stupid.

S’razirr was scoping out the perimeter of his latest job. He was the first to arrive at the dilapidated ruins apparently named Malada. The set-up seemed simple enough. The door to the underground complex was surrounded by half-collapsed structures, in a clearing atop a steep hill. Plenty of cover, easy to box someone in, good place for an ambush. The khajiit grunted his approval and then hopped up the lower branches of a nearby tree overlooking the entrance. He nestled himself in the crook where the branch met the trunk and propped up his feet. S’razirr pulled a knife and a lump of bark out of his pocket and lazily started carving while he waited for the others.

For a while there was nothing but the early morning sounds of chirping birds and the gentle swaying of branches. S’razirr yawned and looked down at his idle carving. It was starting to look a bit like the face of his boss. The khajiit scowled and nailed the bark to the tree behind him. He sighed,  extracted the knife and pocketed it. Squinting up at the sun, it looked like he still had a while. His compatriots did not live close. He sat dozing in the tree, half-awake until he suddenly heard a sound.

*Splat*!

Undertale and Completionism

I’m sure plenty of people are sick of Undertale, and even sicker of people saying that they can’t talk about Undertale. For what it’s worth, everyone is entitled to their opinion and the game won’t appeal to everyone. It does a lot of clever things that are better experienced yourself, so it reaches this weird middle area where many love it but can’t express why. It’s entirely possible that even without hype or spoilers you could play the game, not care, and wonder why everyone wouldn’t shut up about it. That being said, I’ve finally decided to say something related to this game I enjoyed so much, and am giving the proper warning:

THIS POST CONTAINS MAJOR UNDERTALE SPOILERS, AND EXPECTS YOU TO KNOW ABOUT THE GAMES ENDINGS. IF YOU INTEND TO PLAY AT ALL, PLEASE DO NOT READ FURTHER.

SERIOUSLY THOUGH.

F’REALS.

...

...okay, are they gone?

Yes?

I don’t believe you.

Oblivion Adventures Part 16: Friendly Conversations

Last time on Oblivion Adventures, our hero charged into the Arcane University and broke both people’s patience and game mechanics. This time...

Bothiel the elven wizard was having trouble keeping up with her colleague, Raminus Polus. While she had been having her upper-middle-afternoon nap, a new recruit had apparently made quite an impression on the master-wizard.

“So he just left?” she said, yawning slightly and rubbing her half-lidded eyes.

“He just left!” said Raminus, limply throwing his hands in the air. “I told him there was more he needed to know but he just barreled through the university exit. I don’t even think HE knows where he’s going, he just shouted something about ‘testin out his new magicky tings’.” Raminus dropped onto the bench beneath him and folded his arms.

“Well hey, at least he shows enthusiasm.”

Star Wars KotOR: Why Don’t I Enjoy This?

Some months back I did a review of the mediocre Dragonball Xenoverse. To keep things interesting I did so in a new format called Why Do I Enjoy This. I compared the pros and cons of the game individually instead of giving blanket opinions. Obviously I enjoyed the upsides more than I disliked the downs. I’m now returning to that formula, but from the other side. Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic is agreed by many to be a fantastic game. It’s heralded as one of the best things to come from popular company Bioware, one of the best games to come from Star Wars, and some of the best writing to come from the medium. Knowing all this, I purchased the game on sale years ago.

I quit playing after a couple hours.

The game just didn’t grab me. So life moved on, I played other games, and every so often I would stare guiltily at the installed but un-played Star Wars game. After a year or two, I gave the game another shot.

I quit playing after several hours.

Oblivion Adventures Part 15: Strongest in the Universe-ity

Raminus Polus was having a very quiet day, which was just the way he liked it. As a Master-Wizard at the Arcane University, he had reached the point in his career where he could safely do whatever he wanted and not be questioned so long as he claimed it was important. He was currently researching the sociological progression the common populace went through when simultaneously exposed to fear, excitement, boredom, increased knowledge and a sense of knowledge far greater than the actual increase. To people not questioning his research, this was known as “reading the paper.”

Of course the only animation the game has is reading a book, but it’s a newspaper in SPIRIT.

Oblivion Adventures Part 14: Future Plight

When we last left our stalwart hero, he-

Shush are so excited!

Er. What?

Shush are real real excited!

Okay, yeah, I got that. You’re not on yet though, give me a second.

Oh, okay.

Right. So as I was saying, last time we saw Shush’Ogar-

Shusharesoexcited-

Would you stop that! Shush did some quest for a crazy person or something, whatever! That’ll have to be good enough, since you won’t shut up. Now you can-

Okey so Shush are real excited on account of a great ting dat is about to happen which is Shush are gonna get his last mage-y rigging-mount-daze-on! Shush checked his countin a whole buncha times an dis town place he was goin to were de last one in Cyrodil dat he had ta visit! After dis Shush will get into de fancy mage school in da city an dey will teach Shush all sortsa cool magicky tings an den Shush is gonna be de most bestest at spells in de whole Mundus!

All Shush has gotta do is head inside dis buildin!

Blah blah usual compliment that the towns have varied architecture, blah.

“Hey guys! Shush are here for mage-y trainin!”

“Uh...this is the fighter’s guild.”

“...”

All Shush has gotta do is head inside dis buildin!

So does this mean I have to compliment the architecture again?

DragonFable

Tradition is a funny thing. You have some event at a specific time a year. You throw a party, watch a movie, or write a blog post (to select a purely random example, of course). The event just...happens. There’s nothing special about it, nothing sacred about its passing. It’s just a single data point in the ceaseless cascade of moments that make up your life. But then, for whatever reason, that changes. Maybe you really enjoyed the first time. Maybe you’re just looking for something to do and find a convenient excuse in repetition. Maybe you somehow did the exact same thing, unplanned, precisely 365 days later. Probably not that last one. But all of a sudden, you have not one, but two data points. And two data points aren’t points any more. They’re a sequence, a pattern, a line. A tradition.

But I’m not going to complain about the shackles of tradition while reaping the benefits. I had nothing to talk about this week. I haven’t played many games at all lately, let alone new ones. I’ve already had three Oblivion Adventures posts in a row. The quickest well to draw from for inspiration is the handy-dandy bucket of childhood rage. So we’re going to celebrate the holidays and their spirit of kindness by making fun of an online game from about a decade ago. Gather round boys and girls, we’re going to talk about DragonFable.