On this winding path through lame jokes and Poke-themed armchair game
design, we are finally at the beginning of the end, which is author-speak for
“whenever sounds most dramatic.” The sun is setting, the ship is leaving dock,
and the fat lady is running low on lung capacity. We have reached the end of
the road, the line, the journey, the thread, our wits, and the overextended
intro sequences. And we’ve hit that point with a whole mess of baggage still
waiting to be packed in.
So it’s time we got to it! This final post will focus on the
miscellaneous, those nuggets of critical gristle that don’t fit within the
neat, juicy cuts of analysis covered before. I’ve condensed these turbulent
storms of raw opinion into five sorta-distinct categories: Level Design,
Difficulty, Post-Game/Multiplayer, Economy/Interface, and Mini-Games/Side
Quests. Each will be worth five points,
which I have ingeniously combined with my incredible skills of basic
multiplication for a 25 point total. The critiques will be doled out quickly
and efficiently, like extremely condescending machine gun fire. And that rapid
rain of ravishing reverence and ravaging ridicule will begin…
…
…
…hold on, let me just check my wa – RIGHT NOW!
