Sunday, March 31, 2024

An Eye-OU for an Eye-OU

The readership of this blog is something I hold no illusions about, at least not since I killed the sorcerer who cursed me. The illusion I'm alluding to is that of active readership, which is to say, I have none. But that didn't stop me for 160 posts over the course of a decade, so as ever, I'd like to keep you all updated as though "you all" existed. I'd specifically like to address something I said last year, on my 2023 April Fool's day post. Or more accurately my very short April Fool's day post about why I didn't have an April Fool's day post. The quotes in question are:


"Sometime between now and April 1st, 2024, there will be another article on"




"Unless I die. Would be tough to schedule around that one."


The good news, unless you're a clan of sorcerers out for revenge, is that I have not died. Nor do I plan to any time soon. Alas, I do need to prevent myself from dying, which it turns out is just as hard to schedule around. Yes, this is another post about why there aren't any posts, a hallmark of creators too lazy to create but too guilty to quit. But I do have a better reason than usual for being busy on April 1st. Specifically: I got cancer and will be in surgery having one of my eyes removed that day.


I have prepared an apology greeting card:


You would not believe how hard it was to find this card pre-written.


As alluded to above, this should prevent me from dying in the near future, the not-so-near future, and with any luck, all futures the distance of a normal human lifespan. I can't guarantee futures beyond a human lifespan until I reach an arrangement with a clan of sorcerers. Rest assured, I'll likely return to posting passable parody pieces and glib gaming grumbles before long. But before short, I have an upcoming crop of cyclopean circumstances to contemplate. I discovered my impending binocular bisection a couple months ago, and it's something I had to keep more than one eye on while I still could. And if there's one silver lining to cancer, it's that everyone feels too awkward to ask what you were doing with the 10 months of the year before you found out you had it.


In short: Blah blah cancer blah blah no blog posts for a while blah. If, against all evidence and good taste, you still want to hear more from me, I will point you to my game Small Favors, which has about 40 hours of content and a novel's worth of words. Yes I know I mentioned the same thing last year, but the game didn't go anywhere and it still has a thousand times the words of a blog post. It'll be a bit before I post again, but if it's any consolation, it's highly unlikely I'll have the same scheduling conflict in 2025.


If I do I suspect the sorcerers have found me.