Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Paper Mario: Sticker Star Review

[Note: As I was finishing writing this review I had noticed a prevalent trend. Although I don’t regret it because this a blog of my opinions rather than a completely impartial outlet, here’s a fun drinking game I’ve devised: take a drink every time I compare Sticker Star to other Mario RPGs. Good luck.]

            So I return, metaphorically jumping out of the casket at a comical moment to inform everyone that I am not, in fact, dead. This past month of academically induced radio silence holds the new record for longest amount of time I’ve spent without updating the blog. So now that the honeymooning period of updates every week or two is over I’ve moved boldly forward in the realm of not updating, soaring to new heights with the new lows I’m willing to set. Um, that is to say that, I’m like, reaching a new low in actuality, but I’m using the phrase new heights to refer to the new record in lows I’m setting, which on reflection is kind of confusing. I mean, it’s sort of like the lows are the lowest because they’re the highest speaking in terms of lows, sort of like if gravity were flipped upside-down and flying high in the sky would actually be burrowing underground, but oh wait that would mess up the low part of the analogy. Er…

I think I'm just gonna start adding alt text to these images this article and see if anyone notices.
Okay I can figure this out, lemme just get out my tape measure…

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Golden Sun Review

            So once again we arrive at our regrettably bimonthly update. College continues to limit my time spent with the games of video, so there are really only two games I’ve played in the last couple weeks. The first is more World of Warcraft, and the second is GBA RPG Golden Sun, which I started (and finished) another playthrough of on a whim. What’s that? You say you want to see more of this game I speak of? And you wish to do so by way of an informative and/or humorous internet review by some random blog? Well that just so happens to coincide with what I planned on doing, Suspiciously Informed Theoretical Inquirer. How exactly are you so well informed? Are you theoretically stalking me?

I’ve had it up to here with your theoretical shenanigans! Get the hell out of my theoretical house!

Thursday, November 1, 2012

On Random Chance

            Greetings to hypothetical readers, self-deprecation as a result of slow update rate, etc. You know the drill. So I have been rather busy lately, which is partly responsible for the lack of updates. The other reason is the fact that since I haven’t had much free time, the only video game I’ve played in like 3 solid weeks is the pet battling system from World of Warcraft.

Above: What obsession looks like

Sunday, October 21, 2012

An Average Day for the Stevensons

[So sparse updates have been sparse lately. In an attempt to alleviate that, today I'm going to present you readers with something a little different. I'm currently in a Creative Writing course that I had to write a short story for and this was the result. It's an easy way to fake content give you something to hold you over until I write a proper update, and I think it's the type of tale the internet might approve of. The rest of this update is the aforementioned short story, unchanged but for a few formatting edits to make it more readable in an online format]

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Final Fantasy Tactics Advance 1 & 2

            Many years ago, when I was but a wee lad, there were a series of very popular JRPGs. It so happened that one year this series wanted to branch out and make a game in a slightly different genre. Rather than their usual style of game they instead opted for a more tactical one, with grid based combat similar to what one would see in, say, Fire Emblem. They brought their own flavor of individual character progression and classes to the table and the result was considered a rousing success. That game was called Final Fantasy Tactics. I…did not play that game.

Pictured: The game I’m not going to talk about

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Let’s Play Sphinx #7: Pokemon Sphinx/Mummy Version

            Ancient legends tell of a treasure, lost to the annals of time. They tell of a sacred text that was buried beneath the sands for untold generations. Some weeks ago, our world’s top archeologists unearthed these very ancient texts. They marveled at them, estimating that they’re surely dating back to thousands of years ago, at least! They carefully placed them in an exhibit at a local museum, and news spread and eventually reached the papers. Some days after, a young man was browsing through the newspaper when an article caught his eye. “Oh”, he said, “they’ve found the Sphinx Let’s Play series. I should really consider updating that again.”

Hey! Do you get it?! Do you get the joke?! Do you get that the joke is that I haven’t updated in a long period of time?! Huh?! Do you?!

Friday, September 21, 2012

Genericide Update: Return of Revenge of the Son of Genericide

            So you may have noticed that it’s been a long time since I last updated this blog. Like, a really long time. I last updated Genericide four weeks ago, almost a full month. It’s been the longest hiatus the site has endured since its inception. I can only imagine the type of chaos and mass panic the outside world has been enduring at my absence. To the people of the world I offer my apologies and a glimmer of hope for your previously grim futures. Inform your neighbors, your friends and family, your governments, shout the good word from the rooftops. Genericide has not stopped updating, the end is not nigh, my hiatus was not an early start to the Mayan Apocalypse! I know this has been a tragic and grueling time for you are, but a bright future lies ahead.

You have my official permission to pick up your shattered lives and begin society anew

Friday, August 24, 2012

Some Top Video Game Lasers

   defines a laser as a device that produces a “…coherent beam of light [caused] by exciting atoms to a higher energy level and causing them to radiate their energy in phase”. So basically lasers are just beams of light created by some science-y means. Most of them aren’t weapons or even that harmful so long as kept away from the eyes. That dinky little laser pointer manufactured purely to annoy your pets counts as a laser. And of course they are often fairly small and thin, because a huge, wide laser would probably be ridiculously impractical, not to mention pointless. Lasers aren’t really weapons, there, now that’s out of the way. So that being said…fuck that shit!

Erm, not literally though. That probably wouldn’t end well, even if the laser itself wasn’t harmful.

Monday, August 20, 2012

An Unrestrained Ramble On the Nature of Time

            So when I started this blog I made a solemn, concrete promise to not hold myself to any promises about updating. By all accounts, I have succeeded in upholding this noble goal. In other words, my rate of updating has generally toed the line in between “somewhat inconsistent” and “taking place in a dimension completely unrestrained from human understanding of time”. Though it is kind of impressive that I was able to apparently bend the time stream to my will purely for the purposes of updating out of schedule, it isn’t necessarily a good thing. Because although the Genericide update calendar may be a twisted, gnarled husk of temporal confusion, my internal guilt clock runs on a tight, consistent schedule.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Every Game I’ve Ever Owned

[I made this list while I was packing for college earlier today. If you ever need to see if I've played a game, you can just check. More importantly it makes me feel smug. Actual blog content coming...some time. Oh, and this disclaimer isn't counted in the word count]


This list consists of every video game I have ever owned or played as of 8/14/2012.
Current Total: 350 games, 315 played games
Systems Owned: 12
Words in this Document: 1,491
Games Worse than Final Fantasy X-2: 0

 Though I don’t really return or sell back any games, this does not necessarily include games I’ve rented, that I’ve seen people play, that I’ve heard of, that I owned but forgot about and lost, or that I’ve played but never personally owned. Basically, this is more of a rough estimate.

* = Game I own but haven’t played, ^ = Game owned by a sibling

Exploration in Video Games

            This is a topic that has been on my mind a fair bit lately, and I had previously mentioned I might go into while discussing 3D platformers. Video games have a lot of potential as a completely unique medium to do things that books, television and movies never could. Of course I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with games doing the same things that other mediums do, like using text or cinematics. But as an interactive form of media games have access to some unique things that only they can do, and among those is the ability to explore.

Even if Deus Ex: Human Revolution was a movie, you still could see this cool shot of the city of Hengsha. But you couldn’t then explore the city at your own pace.

            Movies and books may be able to show all sorts of side details and interesting aspects to the world that help flesh it out or reveal new information, but they always have to be directed by the creator. There’s no way to go off the rails of a story if it’s a linear experience, but when interactivity comes in you can simply present the audience with a world and let them go nuts. Games are in a unique position to more accurately exhibit the feeling of free will and exploration more than any other, and it’s one of the reasons I love them. It’s also one of the reasons some of gaming’s more recent AAA titles haven’t enthralled me as much.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Mini-Reviews: Vessel, VVVVVV and Mystery Game

            So because I’m terribly, horribly bad a pacing myself, my guilt overdrive has exploded at the lack of posts and after weeks of zero/sparse content I’m going to throw two articles at you at once. I’ve been playing a lot of games lately, as you’ll no doubt be so surprised to know. Basically take that huge list of games I was playing this summer a while back. Then add 8 games from the Steam Summer sale. Then lightly sprinkle on a few old games that I decided to add to the list of those I’m revisiting. Oh, and drop in a handheld game I bought before going on vacation. Mix together lightly and put in an oven pre-heated to 375 degrees for 15 minutes. After, let cool for several minutes before glazing on a layer of honey. Sorry, what was I talking about?

Orcs Must Die 2 is apparently delicious with a pinch of nutmeg

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Let’s Play Sphinx #6: The Mummy Formerly Known As Prince

            Well it’s been a while, hasn’t it reader(s)? I actually played this segment back before I even posted the last entry in this series, so given that historians have yet to uncover intelligible recordings from that era I think we could all use a refresher on what the heck is happening. Sphinx had recently discovered from Mojo Monkey Man that via a magical artifact, they can temporarily revive the dead prince and have him scout out the enemies fortress. The Man of Monkey Magic then uses his powers to…give sentience to a basket, because that’s apparently the only way to transport items to and from the dead prince, via poorly explained teleportation magic. We can now return to our regularly scheduled Let’s Play that I’m sure my obedient legion of readers has been positively clamoring for.

Pictured: Obvious visual gag denoting inferior number of readers despite previous comments to the contrary

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Shadow the Hedgehog Review

            So I return triumphant, or at least existent, from my brief vacation. During said vacation, the Steam Summer Sale occurred, netting me several more games to add to the huge list I elaborated on before I left (and keep in mind those were just the ones I’d already played). While I try to juggle playing everything from every time period at once I figured it’d be good to get some content in without too much of a wait, so I’m going to capitalize on something I played before I left for vacation. As a reward for waiting for content you get…a crappy game about a human sized mammal making a laughable attempt at attitude.

If you guessed this…who am I kidding no one would guess this, even though it fits the description. Funnily enough, this is an eco-friendly rip-off of the series containing the game I am talking about.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Genericide Update: Excuses, Lists and Opinions

[ANNOUNCEMENT: I’ll be going on vacation in a couple days and it will have at least a week without updates (what else is new). Apart from this article I’ll try to get something out tomorrow, though it’s uncertain if I will manage. I really am sorry about the gaps in content. That’s the important bit, more below]

            In the theoretical situation wherein I had regular readers of this blog, regular readers of this blog may notice that it has a really inconsistent update rate. Part of this is the unavoidable nature of how my writing cycle works, which is approximately between ‘when I feel like it’ and ‘when I start to feel guilty’ o clock. The other part comes from the fact that I play a lot of games in my free time that I don’t feel motivated to write about. Just how many games, you may ask? Well I figured in lieu of having actual content to give you I’ll just give you a list of the many, many games I’ve been playing this summer but not writing about. Some will be accompanied with a brief write up, some will be accompanied by an explanation of why I’m planning a bigger write up later, and some will state my intent not to write about them at all. If you don’t care about said list, I’d still prefer you scroll down past it to the bottom of this article, because I have some questions for what few readers I have.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Some Top Video Game Explosions

[NOTE: Due to the nature of when giant explosions tend to be deployed, this article is home to quite a lot of spoilers. Read with care]

Today is the fourth of July, which as far as I can tell is America’s national holiday of blowing things up. In celebration, I decided to create a list of some of my favorite explosions in video games. You’ll note that the title says ‘some’, and that’s very much intentional. This is by no means a definitive list, and I encourage anyone who reads this and thinks of another to list it in the comments. Wide scale mayhem or general apocalypses aren’t so much the idea as big, bombastic balls of energy or fire expanding rapidly and wrecking the surrounding area. In addition, the order is fairly loose and is more of just a general index of how awesome the boom was. Without further ado, let’s get into the list:

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Spyro the Dragon Review

            There are some times when I realize that I have far too many games to play. When I realize that I have so many dozen things I could be doing that I responsibly resolve to finish what I’m already doing. When I am tempted to buy or play a new video game but resist because I clearly have too much willpower and self-control for such things, and instead will dutifully and mechanically work through my list of things I already was going to do. This is not one of those times. Instead this is a time where I bought Spyro the Dragon instead.

And when I think about it, I can’t actually remember one of those other times…

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Let’s Play Sphinx #5: Exposition, Eagles and Evil Ecosystems

            So our hero Sphinx was last seen hiring a ship in Abydos bound for Heliopolis. While he presumably has a fascinating trip on the empty ocean with only one other boring NPCs company, however, our point of view shifts. What we see next is a scene taking place inside Castle Uruk. In case you’d forgotten, that’s the one with the giant laser sticking out the top.

Can’t miss it, first building on the right, just past the land of eternal darkness

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Platforming and the Third Dimension

            An idea for an article that’s been kicking around in my head for a while has been to talk about one of my favorite sub-genres of games, 3D platformers, and why they seem to be so horribly dead at the moment. I then considered splitting it into two articles, wherein the first one explains the platforming genre (games where you jump, essentially) in general and how it came to be. However, as soon as I started researching for the article I noticed that the internet already had covered that issue in more ways than I could ever reconcile, and with more authority. I know that original ideas are hard to come by and that it’s perfectly fine to retell old information with a new spin. But if I were to write just about the rise of 2D platformers I would be copying far too much of the article from Wikipedia verbatim for my liking.

Bottom line, we’re fusing the two ideas, with me first doing a brief overview of platformers in general before moving on to the variety with an extra dimension. Some readers more savvy to the history of video games may find some familiar information to begin with, but at the very least I can hope to put an entertaining spin on things to keep you interested. For example, Wikipedia can’t make terrible puns or toilet humor jokes. It’s one of mankind’s last bastions of defense against robot superiority.

More like WEEkipedia! …Y’know, like wee. As in pee. Like piss. The fluid. That is dispelled from your body as waste. …*cough*

Monday, June 11, 2012

E3 2012

            Given that literally all my content on this blog so far has been devoted to games nearly a decade old or older, one could be forgiven for thinking that I am broadcasting to you live from the past, via some manner of blog time capsule. Either that or I live in a cave. Er, a cave surprisingly stocked with video games and consoles from a decade ago. Whatever, you get the idea. However, the fact of the matter is that I do in fact live in the mysterious future-present year of 2012, and frequently interact with these new-fangled jigamawhatsits that are modern consoles.

The problem is that I frequently revisit old games for a number of reasons, and although I’ve also played modern games recently they’ve been fewer in number and, more importantly, harder to write about. You see these games have already gotten tons of coverage recently from people better equipped to speak about them than I, and they’ve also all been really good lately. In my experience I’ve always found bad games or fun but flawed games easier to talk or write about than good ones. Anyway, the point is that I don’t talk about modern games as much as a lot of other people. But now I’m going to, because I want to briefly discuss this year’s E3.

This was clearly the only important part of E3. Alright, we’re done here, go home.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Let’s Play Sphinx #4: Visit Scenic Abydos Sewers

            When last our adventure left off, we were yet again jumping into the hideous jaw of the portal god en route to a mysterious place called Abydos. Our eventual goal at the time is to get from there to Heliopolis, where Monkey Man is waiting for us. So the portal god spits us up like some type of picky lava worm and we find ourselves in a sewer. Pleasant. There isn't anything we can really do down here except walk down the passage to the door, so that’s what happens.

            As we emerge from the sewers we see the waterside city of Abydos. Near the entrance is a lady who grabs our attention to mention that the waters around the city are electrified due to an unusual infestation of electric eels. I understand the need to put walls around your game world, but really…electric eels?

For those unaware, it’s kind of hard to continuously electrify an entire ocean.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Gargoyle’s Quest Review

[NOTE: There will be some lots of strong language within this review. You’ve been warned.]

So a while back I realized I still had some left over money in the 3DS store from a previous purchase, and decided to check what games I could find on its virtual console worth buying. I found a game called Gargoyle’s Quest that, upon research, was apparently a 2D platformer with RPG elements that people had generally good opinions of. Figuring it would at least be worth a few bucks, I downloaded it and got to playing. The plot of the game is your standard, barely substantial game plot about defeating evil and isn’t really worth addressing. You play as Firebrand, a gargoyle who originally appeared in the NES game Ghosts ‘N Goblins.

To some people, the language warning at the start just made a lot more sense…

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Let’s Play Sphinx #3: Back in Action

            When we last left off, we were doing absolutely nothing interesting gameplay wise. Thankfully that’s about to change, as right after the Prince is captured by his brother there’s a transition back to Sphinx, who thankfully was released from the portal gods mouth into some unknown location.

Here’s another picture of the portal god in case you could still sleep at night

Where has Sphinx’s mysterious amulet taken him? What will he do now? Is the Prince really dead? Do we care? Let’s find out!

Monday, May 28, 2012

Super Sonic Sadism

            I’m quite a fan of the Sonic the Hedgehog series, some missteps in his games notwithstanding. So the other day when my friend and I were looking for things to do we decided to pop in a collection of old sonic games and play through Sonic 3. Eventually we were unable to continue and tried Sonic 2 in an attempt to end on a higher note. The game fared a bit better but we still had some problems near the end. But playing these brought to mind a lot of the reasons where I think the Sonic games had some problems, even back in their supposed golden age.

No one’s arguing that all the new games were fantastic, but they weren’t devoid of problems even before then…

Let’s Play Sphinx #2: Prince of the Fetch Quests

            When we last left our intrepid hero, he had vaulted over lava, acquired a mighty blade, slain enemies and dodged giant lasers, all before taking a magical portal to some unknown location. Coming up next in our engaging tale of heroics, we have…something completely unrelated.

Seems this kid just woke up! Presumably from dreaming he was in a segment with better gameplay

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Let’s Play Sphinx #1: Land of Lava and Lasers

            In my first review on this blog, I made a reference to a game called Sphinx and the Cursed Mummy. Since then I have no doubt that my legions of voracious readers have been frothing at the mouth to hear more of the game.

Pictured: My legions of voracious readers

Friday, May 25, 2012

The Supposed-To-Lose Fight

            There are many reoccurring themes and tropes of video game stories that tend to crop up again and again, and among these is the popular convention of the supposed-to-lose fight. This is the tradition of a game giving you a fight or challenge, usually early on in the game, which is literally impossible to succeed in, and incorporates failure in to the actual plot of the game. This can take the form of losing in a cutscene or literally making an impossible segment of play. They’re most common in RPGs, due to their emphasis on story, setting up villains, and growing stronger over the course of the game.

            Now how useful these encounters can be is up for debate, but there’s no denying that how effective they are varies. I’d like to go over several examples of this subject and examine which are better or worse and why; because depending on how they’re used they can be either a good narrative device or absolutely infuriating.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Lost Kingdoms 2 Review

            Despite having a boatload of new games demanding my attention, I’m occasionally compelled to dive headfirst into my library to play some older offerings and pointedly ignore keeping up with the new. One such time has occurred recently, and two of the games that grabbed my attention were Lost Kingdoms 2 and Kingdom Hearts. Had I felt like playing Graffiti Kingdom I could make a whole Kingdom review trifecta, but sadly I did not.

Graffiti Kingdom was an interesting game offering a unique action RPG system potentially involving the capture of monsters. Instead of that, I’ll be reviewing Lost Kingdoms 2, an interesting game offering a unique action RPG system potentially involving the capture of monsters.

Wario Land 2 Review

           Recently, through the magic of the internet I came across a playable version of Wario Land for the Game Boy. This harkened me back to the days of my youth, where Wario Land 2 was one of the first games I ever owned. However, the first thing I discovered is that Wario Land 2 is very different from the original in a few key ways.

Introductory FAQ

    There are many interesting and appealing questions to ask in this world of ours. These are not those questions. Instead, they’re mostly questions relating to this blog, and what it’s about, and, in all probability, are not actually frequently asked.

Q: Did you really need those three sentences of introduction?

A: Shut up.

Q: So what is this blog about anyway?