Friday, April 1, 2022

Game Exec Laments Market Too Depressed To Oversell

Over the past decade, how games are monetized has been a hot topic of debate among gamers. We here at Genericide are always looking out for fresh takes on the subject. So when a high-ranking game company exec started rambling their views on Twitter, we knew we just had to give them a platform for that. That's how we ended up on a call with Activision's Assistant VP of Finangling Boondoggles, Chet Smorgasbord. Here's how it went…


Good afternoon Mr. Smorgasbord, it's an honor to speak with you.


"Thank you, it sure is."


This all started a few days ago, when you decided to weigh in on the controversial micro-transactions in Gran Turismo 7, is that right?


"That'd be the start of it, right. I woke up to my timeline just plastered with people outraged that a full-price game could charge $40 for a single digital car model. And that's all well and good but I mean, we've heard it all before right? Blah blah consumers angry, but what I wanna' know is, where's the CEO's opinions, why aren't we giving their voices a place to be heard?"

"Besides, it's my firm belief anyone angry about the artificial scarcity of prestige cars being re-created with imaginary ones is just mad they didn't think of it first."