Why hello there! Been a
while since we’ve had a chat like this, eh imaginary friend I pretend is an
active audience? A few months, as a matter of fact. Though it only spanned two different topics,
I’ve spewed out a fair few words lately. Last week I slipped off the
metaphorical hook due to Thenksgorbing, but now America is done reminding the
world of its enjoyably unhealthy relationship with food and I’m back on said
hook. That metaphorical hook has me by the metaphorical jaw, and if I don’t
want to end up catch of the day I’ll have to write a blog update or something that
fish do I don’t know this was actually a terrible metaphor for my situation.
Since it’s been a while,
allow me to acclimate myself to the proper mindset for my uniquely endearing*
brand of non-content (nontent, if you will). Ahem:
*Genericide earned a perfect score on a scale of one to endearing, by a
panel of five judges that were all me in a delightful assortment of different
wigs.
Butts butts farts farts deprecating
jokes about view counts puns farts butts colorful metaphor butts meta joke
about lack of jokes farts puns buttfarts conditioning my readers subtly over
time to appreciate laziness in a sinister plot to attain an army of faithful
vegetable viewers who will laugh at any joke no matter how horrible to act as a
sufficient distraction to the hidden reptilian uprising I’ve been secretly
staging behind the scenes nationwide…farts.
Yep, that should do as a
warm-up. So here’s my actual content:
To be fair, you really
should’ve seen this coming.
If we wanna talk shop
about the actual ETA (Estimated Time of Annoyance) for new articles, I’ll say
this: Thereabouts that thar Holiday Season folks might take a looksee and find
a fresh jug o’ word juices be slathered all over a clean blog-slate round here.
Or not! Depends whether I can scramble up an ambling ramble on an appropriate
subject in time. The percentage daily value of hustle and bustle found on this
site will be a bit lower for a while. Not forever, but other personal projects
not yet featured on the blog have languished under the harsh rays of my previous
productivity. If you’re still starved for your physician recommended servings
of snark, you could always read or re-visit those previous two series.
To answer your question, yes I did link those twice in the same article. A
better question would be: If you’re not satisfied with those 30,000+ words, what makes you think
these 500 will satiate you?
I suppose whatever
bizarre impulse keeps me writing them. More unabashed nontent next week!
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