Greetings, strange future
people of 2018! I'm sure you're busy sipping VR cocktails from your chrome battle
cruisers as you escape the Lizardman uprising. But those with a moment to spare
between hyperspace jumps may be wondering why I went half the year without
content then stopped in the middle of a series. Fear not, my purely
hypothetical legion of readers! I have a very good reason why the rest of the
Dragon Quest 7 series hasn't been posted:
I didn't finish writing
it!
Yeah okay, this was
about the reaction I expected.
Now if you'll give me a
moment to clean up the soot off my monitor, there was another reason the series
hasn't been posted. Probably should've led with that.
I made a free video game!
Dedicated and observant
readers* will note that I was working on an RPG at the
beginning of this year. This…is not that RPG. Instead, it's something I started
a few months back when I was lured by the siren call of a game jam. It's a
short comedy RPG with all-original art and music named The Square Who Killed Another Square.
*Correct, just me.
Fear not, you are not
viewing a portal to another world. It's just THAT realistic.
Have you ever been
enchanted by my enchanting prose, enchanting word choice, and really good
writing which is good and not bad and very enchanting? Of course you have! Have
you ever wanted me to just make my point and shut the hell up? You didn't even
have to lie for that one! Well The
Square Who Killed Another Square combines all the wit and charm of
Critically Invisible Writer Eric Todd* with none of the calories! Set sail on a
sea of sentence fragments so endearingly awkward you'd have a rollicking good
time even if the writing were terrible. Not that it is! It isn't. I write good.
Enchantingly so.
*That would be me.
Our team of top-tier animators
prided themselves on never reusing models. The twins in the bottom right may
look similar, but observe the cunning use of different flowers in their lapels.
Perhaps you care not for
words and tomfoolery, but only action and excitement! Lord knows how you ended
up here, but I've got just what you need. For The Square Who Killed Another Square features not just a theoretically
award-winning script, but dangerous delves through deadly dungeons filled with
devious demons, dreadful dragons and more! Using a state-of-an-art system of not real-time combat, you can use one of
three classes to engage a frightening array of terrible monsters! To engage a
frightening array of in-game assets that roughly represent terrible monsters!
To engage a frightening array of colors on a screen that are labeled as
terrible monsters!
We originally aimed to
base each monster on real life mythical beasts, but they were so lifelike that
they kept emerging from the screen and eating the artists.
This and so much more awaits
you in The Square Who Killed Another
Square. Not sold on the game? Of course you aren't, because I don't have to
sell you anything. It is and always will be 100% FREE! If nothing else, it'll give a few hours of entertainment to
distract you from the cybernetic mercenaries holding your family hostage in
exchange for safe passage through Lizardman-owned solar systems.
I've added a link to it
on the sidebar, but if you're they type of person who refuses to follow a link unless
it's embedded in text…that's weird. You're weird. It's not like there's
anything safer about putting in words. Are you aware how irrational this fear
is? Have you talked to anyone about it? I'm aware that psychiatry is expensive,
but modern society seems to be coming around to the idea that it's perfectly
normal. And I mean if that's outside your means, or you're not ready to take
that step, you know you can always talk to me if…what's that? Oh right. The
link.
Here's the game.
Happy holidays!
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