Friday, July 29, 2016

Genericide Update: Shambling Piñata Golems

Once more into the breach we go. Buckle up and simmer down, because you’ve got another week of no Genericide slamming straight in front of your headlights like the world’s most disappointing dead deer. I mean granted, I can’t think of a situation where a dead deer would be welcome, at least for the mentally sound. Perhaps it’s a deer filled not with grotesque deer guts, but instead delicious candy? Though at that point it isn’t so much a deer as a deer-filled piñata. I don’t know at what point we want to draw the line between deer and abomination of science, this isn’t a blog debating the philosophy of transdeerism. Besides, piñatamancy has been banned in these parts for centuries, so the point is moot.

Back in the realm of coherent lines of thought that are worth wasting brain space on: we have news on the next post!  Front and center amongst these interesting tidbits of knowledge is the following: Next post is not this week. You are not, in fact, reading it. Though Oblivion does in fact contain deer, I’m reasonably certain none of them are shambling piñata golems. Though I’ll grant you that should probably be a mod.

The reason actual content has yet again been waylaid and left to rot by the side of road is as follows: I’m getting a new computer. I’ve been chugging along on this nearly six year old laptop since before college, but I’ve been gainfully employed long enough to change that. Since I spend essentially all waking hours in front of some manner of computer barring meals, commutes and playing console games, I figured securing my own desktop was a worthwhile investment. Plus, I can’t play Dark Souls 3 or Fallout 4 on this thing, which is the most tragic and traumatizing set of circumstances my first world problem brain can comprehend.

In order to combine the best of staying power and not-being-poor, I’m attempting to build this desktop. You would think that someone who spends what seems like several lifetimes rambling about video games would have a good grasp on electronics. I would think so too, except I’ve met me. My technical aptitude in the realm of computer hardware is only slightly improved over my knowledge of 19th century steam engines, ballroom dancing, or piñatamancy. That is to say, I know so little others in my presence actually have their understanding dampened.

Since my intellect is like a six hundred pound marathon runner in this regard, I’ve relied entirely upon online guides, friendly advice, and ritualistic deer sacrifice to pull myself through. The result is that my decisions took some time, which led to the update delays, which is the thing you actually care about. I mean, presumably. I’m not sure why else you’d be reading this. You could just be really, desperately bored. Or coming off a google search for piñatamancy.

The bottom line is that next week, there should be an Oblivion article. The current one is a ways along, so I should be able to polish it off. However, the week after is likely another update break. I’ll no doubt be occupied with computer assembly and selfish Dark Souls 3 binging. After the break we’ll move on to the next article, which I believe was Super Paper Mario. No wait, I just checked last week’s update, I was wrong. It was actually Pretend-It-Isn’t-Super-Paper-Mario-But-Hint-Through-Incredibly-Transparent-Puns...Game.

Aw yeah. That’ll throw em off the scent.

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