Friday, February 3, 2017

Genericide Update: Little Orphan Jimjerroo

The Gist: Bad MMO article coming soon; Oblivion article coming soon+1.

And so, I triumphantly return once more to the noble tradition of filler blog updates! That’s…that’s a thing that can be triumphant, right? And noble? I mean, not that noble, obviously. It’s not like I’m saving any starving orphans with these filler update posts. Although then again, who am I to say? Perhaps poor little orphan Jimjerroo, already driven to depression by his hilariously stupid name, only needed one more obscure filler blog post to keep on living. And that blog post is mine.

If that were the case, which for simplicity sake we’ll just say it definitely is, why then this blog post would be conclusively proved to be the best thing ever. Proved so conclusively that it would require a frankly excessive amount of italic text. Yeah, what can I say? I’m just a natural humanitarian. The Red Cross should really be allocating more of their budget in getting me to write about how JRPG stories are a load of butts. It’s just the most logical way to save mankind.

Speaking of loads of butts, remember how once a year I write about some terrible MMO? Remember how that article is already over two months overdue? Well stop remembering that second one, I’m declaring it non-canon. The new canon is that I never do anything wrong and you’ve decided to mail me free ice cream right this second due to my natural charisma and lackadaisically charming smile. I’m glad we’ve all agreed to make this our mutually accepted headcanon of reality, therefore irrevocably changing the fabric of the universe in my favor.

So yeah, another load of hot MMO-flavored bile is getting served straight to your table at the Genericide CafĂ©, sometime in the near future. And in a similarly vague unit of time after, a familiar face will be returning to the blog. Or perhaps not familiar, because it’s been over six months since they’ve been here. Not to mention, we never saw much of their face in the first place. Is there any type of unified model of familiarity out there we can rely upon to determine okay look it’s Oblivion okay? There will be a bad MMO post and then an Oblivion post.

Ahem. Y’know, maybe I should just start summarizing the actually useful content of these posts at the top. In the magical dream universe where I have regular readers, I can imagine them wanting to pass out on my nonsense but know when actual content is coming. As for the rest of you, I’ll keep on having literary seizures all over your internet for as long as you want. Which is possibly zero hours, but until you say otherwise I am all over that internet word seizure train.

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