Friday, June 3, 2016

Genericide Update: The Winged Unicycle of Adventure

It’s Friday, and that means it’s Me-Putting-Words-On-A-Screen-And-Then-Sending-Them-Through-The-Internet-So-You-Can-Read-Them Day. I tried to get that on calendars but they rejected my proposal. I argued that it would be quite easy to include a magnifying glass with each calendar sold, but they claimed I was missing the point.

Last Friday was a momentous occasion. It was the first Friday since starting weekly updates on a deadline that I completely failed to update weekly on a deadline!


In my defense, the update was a substantial one. Oblivion Adventures Part 20 clocks in at just about 6000 words. I spent almost that much on my recent Homestuck Music article, but lists are easier to write for and typically some of my longest articles. My longest of all time is only about 6500, and that was for a massive 19 point list, which I wrote when I had even less verbal constraint. Or writing talent. Wow that’s old. Oh man, remember when the Sphinx and the Cursed Mummy let’s play was current? No you don’t, stop lying to me. So make no mistake, there was a lot that went into that last Oblivion article, which is why you’re unlikely to get another right away.

I’ll assume this won’t break your fragile little heart, because the aforementioned article currently has exactly the same amount of views as the two filler posts before it. Like a dozen, for those wondering. Including a couple from myself. I’ve refrained from posting Oblivion Adventures elsewhere since it’s a running series already underway for a decade-old game. However, at this point I might just say to hell with it and start posting that to reddit too. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about marketing, it’s that shame is something that happens to other people. If there’s a second thing I’ve learned about marketing, it’s that confidence is paramount, at all times, because you are always correct and other peoples’ opinions are bullshit. If there’s a third thing I’ve learned about marketing, it’s that I do not want to be the kind of person who is naturally inclined towards marketing.

I’d say we’re getting off-track, but these posts are completely lacking in tracks with which to remain on. We have abandoned the suffocating, draconian shackles of writing with a point and are now riding the winged unicycle of adventure through the skies of creativity and severely overwrought prose, flipping Thomas the Tank Engine the bird on our way to the heavens. But if I were to sprinkle the slightest hint of focus to this tumultuous stew of word juices, the resulting broth would taste like the following question: “If I’m not writing about Oblivion, what am I writing about?”

Well, as of this week, nothing! Please see earlier image for reference on your current emotional state. Fact is, I don’t yet feel like writing more Oblivion after such a large entry. However, I don’t really have anything else to fill the void. I play games these days, but progress is slow. Lately they’re purely weekend activities, most days clogged to the brim working on various hobbies. The metaphorical heart of my schedule is experiencing palpitations from all this artery-blocking creativity. Sadly, none of it is anything I can write about. Not because of interesting reasons, like secrets of some massive project or presidential assassination I’m keeping squirreled away for later. Rather, it’s just all incredibly boring. I’m writing, drawing, composing, or designing games every day of the week, but doing all of these things spread out across my few daily hours of free time ensures their pace is like the more traditionalist class of glacier, the kind that grumbles about how younger mass ice formations wear their pants too low.

So yet another update amounting to a shrug and a fart noise. But hopefully these shrug-farts explain why there isn’t anything more substantial to display. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have nothing else to say here, so I’m going to take that part of me that feels guilty producing a post of under a thousand words and beat it until it stops looking at me funny. Have a nice week.

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